Thankful for my husband

Today I am thankful that I have an understanding husband. Because of some health issues let's just say I've not been the most pleasant person to be around lately. He has been very sweet most of the time. He has most certainly in the last year put his own desires aside to do what he thinks will make me happy, including moving into my mother's house. It has been hard on all of us. But he has not complained even when I know he would have preferred to be at our old house. We still have so many decisions to make, so many things that need to be done and I am confident that we will do it all together.

Can I Do It?

I so want to participate in the



I've got to get into the attic to see what fabrics I can find for this project. I'm excited and yet I'm fearful that I won't be able to follow through. But I guess trying is better than giving up before I get started, right?

6/365

Scarflet made for a friend for Christmas

Okay, day 6 and I've already missed a day. I think this blog thing is too much for me right now, even just a photo. I'm not dealing with my grief very well and I may give blogging up as I work through this. We'll see how it goes.

4/365

Not a picture from today, but a picture posted today. These are towels that I embroidered for my neighbor for Christmas.

3/365

My dog today

2/365

I stole the title from another blogger. She is doing the photo a day thing too and I like the way she is labeling her blog posts. So I am copying her.

Mom's living room today

These pictures of my mom's house are my project for the new year. (The house not the pictures.) My family will be moving into my mother's house some time in the future. We have lots to do to our house before we can put it on the market to sell or rent. But my guess is that within a year we will be living at my mother's house. We promised my parents that we would not sell their house after they died. So are working out a way to keep the promise that we made to them.

Photo #1

Mom's kitchen today

I'm playing with the idea of taking photos everyday and posting one on this blog. So this is the first.

Contemplating a New Year

Well 2009 brought lots of smiles, sorrow, and difficulty. I am glad that we will soon be putting it behind us. I look forward to 2010. I am hoping that it will bring blessings to us all. I am thinking about what I can do with this blog. I know, I know, I've said that many times before. But what can I do that I will actually follow through with? There are some possibilities. And then again I can just let the blog go. What to do?

Doctor's Appointment for Mom

We took Mom for a doctor's appointment to check on some pain issues. During the visit the doctor discovered that her tumor had grown a tremendous amount and that she had lost four pounds in a short amount of time while eating normally. (Note - she only weighed 73 lbs before the weight loss and that was fully clothed.)

The doctor tells her that he is going to refer her to hospice. She makes a face, says I don't like that word. And then proceeds to tell him that she has hired someone to come and clean her house from top to bottom. The doctor looked at her and then at us.

Time Out for Knitting

I have been knitting some Christmas presents. I have found a great pattern that I hope several young women on my list will love.

Meret by Wooly Wormhead on Ravelry

Taking Mom for a Visit

My sister-in-law and I took my mom to visit her brother recently. He is in poor health and they haven't seen each other in a month or so. Mom seemed excited to be going and my uncle was thrilled when I called to tell him we were coming for a visit. Well, as we were getting ready to head out the door Mom asked if she should carry her purse. I told her "no". It would be in the way and she didn't need it. She looked at me quizzically and said "what about my cards". I inquired, "what cards?" She responded, "my insurance cards. I might need them." I said, "you know we are going to Uncle Don's, right?". She said, "yes". I convinced her that she could leave them at home. But I don't think she ever really understood that she most certainly would not need her insurance cards to visit her brother.

Now you tell me what was going on in her mind.

What's with this blog?

Well, I'll tell you, I'm not sure. I started this blog with the idea of chronicling (is that a word? it just looks wrong) my craftiness. And I've failed miserably at that. Not my craftiness, but blogging about it. I have continued to knit, a lot. It is what keeps me sane some days. Now I'm not sure what this blog should evolve into, maybe nothing. Maybe it should just dry up and go away, maybe no one is interested in my rambling on about things. But I am inclined to give a new blogging theme a go. I'm going to keep it here just in case it doesn't work out. That way I won't have two failed blogs, just one that failed twice.

My new theme will be my personal experiences with my 87 year old mother who is sinking into the world of dementia and who also has oral cancer. This will definitely be an irreverent look at my life as her caretaker. Sometimes I will probably be depressed and have pity parties, but mostly I hope to keep my humor about me and try to keep things in a lighter tone.

I'll just share one of the lastest things that has happened. Let me give you a small amount of background on this one. I have an 18 year old son, he is a nice young man and he has a girlfriend. She is a nice young woman. He has been dating her for probably about four months. We had not told my mother that he had a girlfriend because she usually obsesses about things like this and there are endless questions and many misunderstandings on her part. So to make our lives easier we had just not told Mom that A (this is how I will refer to my oldest son from now on) has a girlfriend. We recently decided that the relationship had lasted sufficiently long that we needed to inform my mother that A indeed had a girlfriend. This was accomplished last weekend. And Mom took it well, seemed pleased and didn't ask many questions. Although she did get the girlfriend's name wrong, but so what. Well, A helps out with the not so pleasant task of spending the night at my mother's house so that she will not be alone and that myself and my brother will have a break from said chore. So yesterday morning when I went to my mother's house as I do every weekday morning. (I stay at her house all weekend, night and day.) she informs me that A had his girlfriend over the night before. I knew this didn't sound right. A knows that I would not approve of this, but just in case his 18 year old judgment isn't what I would like it to be I didn't dispute my mother. Mom proceeded to tell me that the girlfriend is blond, very blond but that A didn't introduce them. Well after questioning A I realize that Mom has had a dream and that said girlfriend was never there. But now how do I convince her of that fact. Ha! It will never happen. But trust me the subject isn't dead. Mom will bring it back up today and I'm not sure how forceful I will be in explaining that she was dreaming. It is probably another fight that I can never win. Those seem to be too numerous to count these days. The dementia is really winning the battle. Ugh! Oh and the girlfriend isn't blond.

Join me in a laugh

I have found the most comical account of using a public restroom possible. Junie Moon tells it like it is.

A Little Sewing

I finally got around to making a bag from the fabric that I purchased a while back. I really love the bag. I've been carrying it and I'm making notes of things to change for the next one. Just a few little things. Overall I love this bag. If you are interested, information on the pattern for this bag is here. It took me longer than two hours, but I did make the jumbo version. I really like it and I think with the changes I've planned the next one will be much better.

Change

You know, I like positive change, but my 87 year old mother is having some trouble with it lately. My brother and I have decided that it would be best to rent my mother's beach house out long term. Now mind you my mother hasn't stepped foot in it for three years. But she is having a hard time understanding the whole long term rental thing for a beach house. She expected us to rent it as a vacation rental (weekly). But when we spoke with the rental company we decided that long term was the best way to go. She is apprehensive about any changes made at all in her life these days and she is a bit paranoid that we are going to do something without telling her. Sometimes it's hard making her understand that everything we are doing is in her best interest.

It seems that there are sad situations all around us these past few weeks. My uncle that lives next door to my mother is having lots of health and mental issues lately. He is 92 though so it's not a huge shock, just hard for his children to sort out. And another uncle who lives in Texas who has been very ill for years is much worse and we were told if we wanted to see him again we should come immediately. I can't go now and it makes me sad. But it also makes me sad that he has suffered so much for so long. This is one of those situations where death would be a relief. I believe that as a Christian he will be free of suffering and pain. So I pray God's will and perfect timing for my uncle and peace for my aunt and cousins.

I'm sorry for the somber tone of this post, but I use this blog to record events in my life as well as reporting creative moments. I may be absent for a while as we travel to the coast to get the house ready to rent and while I deal with the aftermath with my mother. sigh

This is my 7 year old Jack Russell. I haven't seen her in a week.

But I go home today from Mom's and get to spend a few days with her.

And if you are so inclined, please pray that God will grant wisdom to me and my brother in dealing with this whole situation. And a prayer for both uncles would be appreciated as well.

On Vacation

I am at the beach this week so I won't be posting. Enjoy your week and check back next week I have something to show you.

Emerald Isle, NC

Independence

On this July 4th weekend I can't help but think of the men and women who have served this country so that we can celebrate this day.

My dad 18 yo old - WWII

Long Time No Post

I'm so sorry that it's been days since I've updated here. I will take a moment to explain. My mother is 87 years old and she has had a recurrence of tongue cancer. She has had surgery and is stable for now.

My family and I are taking turns to stay with her. She is not happy about this. She wants to stay alone. She is having trouble understanding that this will never again be possible. We made a small change in the house over the weekend, we changed out a full sized bed to put in a king sized bed so that my husband can stay with me comfortably overnight. My 87 year old mother had a fit, crying, screaming, telling everyone to shut up and leave. Now understand this did not alter her bedroom nor any other room of the house and we did not move any other furniture.

I feel like I need a support group of children caring for an elderly parent.

I am at home today while my 18 year old stays with Mom, but I have to go back to her house tomorrow to spend the rest of the week. Please pray.

Decisions, Decisions

I am trying to decide which top to knit with this yarn.

Schoeller+Stahl Eviva - Emerald - 18 skeins or 1980 yards
Gauge 22 stitches = 4" (worsted) on size US 4 needles

The choices are Buttercup or Broken Rib Tank.

Please tell me what you think. This will be my first garment for an adult (me). So I am nervous. And as usual making the decision to get started is taking so long because I am afraid that I will make a mess. I need to just get on with casting on, because I can always rip it out if need be, right?

If you've made a great summer top please share, I am still open to suggestions.

Finished Scarf

I am happy to say that I finished the scarf for my Aunt Charlotte. It's her Christmas present. I blogged about it here. It feels good to get another project finished, especially since it's a gift.
If you are on Ravelry you can check out all the particulars here.