Doctor's Appointment for Mom

We took Mom for a doctor's appointment to check on some pain issues. During the visit the doctor discovered that her tumor had grown a tremendous amount and that she had lost four pounds in a short amount of time while eating normally. (Note - she only weighed 73 lbs before the weight loss and that was fully clothed.)

The doctor tells her that he is going to refer her to hospice. She makes a face, says I don't like that word. And then proceeds to tell him that she has hired someone to come and clean her house from top to bottom. The doctor looked at her and then at us.

What's with this blog?

Well, I'll tell you, I'm not sure. I started this blog with the idea of chronicling (is that a word? it just looks wrong) my craftiness. And I've failed miserably at that. Not my craftiness, but blogging about it. I have continued to knit, a lot. It is what keeps me sane some days. Now I'm not sure what this blog should evolve into, maybe nothing. Maybe it should just dry up and go away, maybe no one is interested in my rambling on about things. But I am inclined to give a new blogging theme a go. I'm going to keep it here just in case it doesn't work out. That way I won't have two failed blogs, just one that failed twice.

My new theme will be my personal experiences with my 87 year old mother who is sinking into the world of dementia and who also has oral cancer. This will definitely be an irreverent look at my life as her caretaker. Sometimes I will probably be depressed and have pity parties, but mostly I hope to keep my humor about me and try to keep things in a lighter tone.

I'll just share one of the lastest things that has happened. Let me give you a small amount of background on this one. I have an 18 year old son, he is a nice young man and he has a girlfriend. She is a nice young woman. He has been dating her for probably about four months. We had not told my mother that he had a girlfriend because she usually obsesses about things like this and there are endless questions and many misunderstandings on her part. So to make our lives easier we had just not told Mom that A (this is how I will refer to my oldest son from now on) has a girlfriend. We recently decided that the relationship had lasted sufficiently long that we needed to inform my mother that A indeed had a girlfriend. This was accomplished last weekend. And Mom took it well, seemed pleased and didn't ask many questions. Although she did get the girlfriend's name wrong, but so what. Well, A helps out with the not so pleasant task of spending the night at my mother's house so that she will not be alone and that myself and my brother will have a break from said chore. So yesterday morning when I went to my mother's house as I do every weekday morning. (I stay at her house all weekend, night and day.) she informs me that A had his girlfriend over the night before. I knew this didn't sound right. A knows that I would not approve of this, but just in case his 18 year old judgment isn't what I would like it to be I didn't dispute my mother. Mom proceeded to tell me that the girlfriend is blond, very blond but that A didn't introduce them. Well after questioning A I realize that Mom has had a dream and that said girlfriend was never there. But now how do I convince her of that fact. Ha! It will never happen. But trust me the subject isn't dead. Mom will bring it back up today and I'm not sure how forceful I will be in explaining that she was dreaming. It is probably another fight that I can never win. Those seem to be too numerous to count these days. The dementia is really winning the battle. Ugh! Oh and the girlfriend isn't blond.

Long Time No Post

I'm so sorry that it's been days since I've updated here. I will take a moment to explain. My mother is 87 years old and she has had a recurrence of tongue cancer. She has had surgery and is stable for now.

My family and I are taking turns to stay with her. She is not happy about this. She wants to stay alone. She is having trouble understanding that this will never again be possible. We made a small change in the house over the weekend, we changed out a full sized bed to put in a king sized bed so that my husband can stay with me comfortably overnight. My 87 year old mother had a fit, crying, screaming, telling everyone to shut up and leave. Now understand this did not alter her bedroom nor any other room of the house and we did not move any other furniture.

I feel like I need a support group of children caring for an elderly parent.

I am at home today while my 18 year old stays with Mom, but I have to go back to her house tomorrow to spend the rest of the week. Please pray.